I was just trying to make a burrito. I had gotten out the tortillas and cheese, grabbed the can opener to open the beans, and was bending down to get a container to put the beans in when all of the sudden I was on my knees sobbing. Hysterically, horribly, ugly-cry sobbing. There may or may not have been some head banging against the dishwasher involved. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, all I could do was rock back and forth on my knees, curled in a little ball of misery, and sob. You know things are getting pretty bad when a little-ol' can of Rosarito Refried Beans can do that to you.
Earlier that morning I had called my parents to find out what the doctors at Mayo clinic had to say about the suspicious mass on the MRI. It wasn't good. The cancer is back, three tumors this time, growing insanely fast, and it is inoperable due to being too close to his carotid arteries. Without some kind of successful treatment he has three months to live. They have already tried all of the treatments available to treat osteosarcoma and none of them have worked, which means that we are out of options.
So here we sit. Looking at alternative treatments. Being a natural skeptic and having science degree, alternative treatments offer little promise to me. But alternative treatments we will try anyway- off-label chemotherapy use, DNA mapping of the tumor looking for weak points, hoping that there is a drug developed for one of those weak point, and prayer. Frankly, I am betting on prayer. At this point we need a honest-to-goodness miracle to save my dad.
But God is still a God of miracles and I believe.
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